Say NO to avocado. I don’t like them. I simply do not like them. I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to, I know I am supposed to enjoy the green flesh of the fruit that represents all things healthy and ‘current’, but I don’t. I’d rather enjoy the green flesh of the fruit that represents all things ‘currant’, AKA the grape (I hope you see what I did there).
I’m sure I should be getting excited about my crushed avocado on sourdough for brunch that I am going to Insta later, but I can’t, I just can’t. It’s not even that I hate them, I just feel nothing towards them. The taste does nothing to evoke emotion, the texture does nothing to the palette, and not to mention the fact that visually the green smoosh is vom inducing. I keep trying to make myself like it, but it isn’t working – each time I attempt to consume some avocado I make the same face a baby makes just prior to spitting out it’s puréed roast dinner from a jar.
I tried to pick one up in the supermarket a few days ago and I couldn’t even manage that. The thought of all the yoga pant clad individuals that had picked it up before me and fondled it to judge ripeness was enough to make me place it gently back on the shelf (so as not to bruise the poor love) and send me racing to the biscuit aisle.
I know I can’t be the only one out there that feels nothing towards the avocado. I alone hope to pave the way for fellow avocado un-enthusiasts to come forward and speak out. Rise up warriors and #saynotoavocado